that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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