You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I forget how to act sober
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
