Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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