If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
