he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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