I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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