Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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