Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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