Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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