Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
