I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
