carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
