plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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