went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize