Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
