can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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