I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize