i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
