I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
