I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
