Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
