She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
