Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
