think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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