dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
