Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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