so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
