you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
