Just cropdusted the office
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
