does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
