i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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