I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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