she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize