Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
