all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
