I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
