Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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