Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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