Don't make out with my wife yet
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love you.
Bad choice
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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