We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
