If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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