I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
