Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize