When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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