she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
