It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize