I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
