it hurts more in the daytime
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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