these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
