im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
