I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have aggressive nipples.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize