Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
