this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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