Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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