Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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