I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
