I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
