Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
