So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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