I think I died a long time ago.
i think i have two assholes
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
