I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
