Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
