do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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