i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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