Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
