He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
