Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
