I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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