Pappa wants mamma naked
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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