Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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